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Recently retired, I’ve found a need to fill my time by helping the sailing community by giving back and sharing my experience.  Now, I realize some of you have sold everything you own, bought a boat and are stupid as shit yet don’t have even a vague clue as to what you are doing but that’s OK.  My site has all your answers.  For just a small fee of $737.39 per month plus nominal carrying charges (a bargain and not even a grand!!!) we will answer all of those complicated questions you have.  You will have our undivided attention.  We treat all of our marks clients the same way and are always there for you.

We are professionals! 

You won’t see us begging for money on PayPal or Patreon to pay for our vacation sponsor us, no you won’t!

We are here to help! 

We realize the sailing community is chocked full of quacks boaters just waiting to take your money.  They are there 24/7/365 to advise you, massage you, sympathize, empathize, enlighten, praise, bring you up, encourage, discourage, message, ignore, and my favorite, coach you down the road to a successful sailing adventure.

We are different!

Everyone realizes that the bare essentials of living on a boat are different than living in a land based home.  There are different questions and different solutions and we have the answers!  We also realize that when a new boat owner makes the decision to cut the lines they lose every little single bit of common sense they ever had.


We answer every question you might have with hard-hitting, no-nonsense answers.  We don’t mince words!

As a bonus you’ll see only on this offer, below is just a small sampling from our files of the complex problems we’ve helped others to solve:

Q.   How do I watch the sunset each evening now that I’m on a boat?
A.   Sit in the cockpit and open your eyes.
Q.   What do I eat while on a boat?
A.   Food.
Q.   What is the best way to use the toilet?
A.   Sit down on it.
Q.   How do I cook on a boat?
A.   With heat.
Q.   Should I really keep clean while sailing?
A.   Yes.
Q.   What is the best type of anchor?
A.   A metal one.
Q.   How do I make my bed?
A.   With your hands.


See?  It’s just that easy!

Just send in your questions via the US Postal Service with a prepaid return addressed envelope and we will mail you back the answer as soon as we get to it!

Everything is different on a boat, right?  But we tell you everything you need to know about living aboard and sailing!  All of your questions are stupid important to us.  Just a sampling of the topics we cover:

How to sprinkle salt…
How to climb a ladder…
How to pick up after yourselves…
How to turn a key…
The correct way to get up in the morning…
How to say good morning…

And much, much more!!!


Contact us today for a FREE trial subscription.  Our operators are standing by!



  1. Hi! Are you the same Chuck Frankenfield that I worked with at Ashbrook Simon Hartley in Houston in the 1970s? If so, I still have the photos from the outing you took me on in your 26′ sloop in Galveston Bay

    • You have the right Chuck Frankenfield. This is his wife, Susan. Chuck said he remembers taking you out that day.

  2. Hi Susan! Thanks! Looks like you guys have a great retirement under way – I’m about 540 days from mine (I have a phone app that counts it down for me, it’s a lifeline sometimes at work). Please ask Chuck to drop me a note at sometime if he’d like to touch base sometime, I can scan some of those old negatives. In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving!

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